Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Charlie Sheen in '92


I would like to say that Charlie Sheen should be a contender for the white trash bible hall of fame. Sure he grew up in Hollywood and his dad was/is a famous actor but Charlie lived a great white trash existence for a while there. he even banged Ginger-Lynn Allen who, if you don't know, is a porn star with possibly the most white trash name ever invented (interesting side note: her brother was also a porn star named Buck Adams... imagine that family christmas! look it up if you don't believe me). So not only was he openly banging porn stars when he should have been at the top of his game professionally.... he was also paying a small fortune in hookers and an even larger fortune to keep up his fondness for the Bolivian caviar.

my nomination for this week. Charlie Sheen in the early 90s. We could narrow it down to, say, Charlie Sheen 90-96

*writers note: the anecdote about the porn star siblings came from memory, i didn't have to look it up... because I'm a trasher scumbag.

Friday, November 27, 2009

Tribute to Snakeskin Boots!




Whether you're just chewing some Redman in your back shed avoiding your wife, or making out with the old hag (with a tarantula sized lipper of Copenhagen in your pie hole) you wanna do it in style. You don't wanna look chince, so you gotta be a man and get some snakeskin boots. Imagine slithering into the bar like Jake The Snake Roberts coming down to the ring to fight Ravishing Rick Rude for hitting on his old lady? Imagine using the heel of a snakeskin boot to stomp in the skull of your fallent enemy on the front lines of combat during a war in the future where robots and lasers are involved. You can light matches for your cigars off the heel while sitting in a saloon and telling people what you really think of them, the possibilities are endless. That's right, with snakeskin boots you can look that tough too bro. If you think you can't afford them... grow a pair. P.S. I think Damien would beat Lucifer in a fight. If you think I'm talking biblical, you need to leave this site immediately and continue downloading episodes of Ready or Not.


Monday, November 23, 2009

SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE




That's what I thought America. You've got some work to do, fuck the Hot Tomalea train and fuck Dancing With The Stars too! If you aren't dancing with the Reynold's Twins then you ain't shit. My brother and I are getting matching suits cause we're the Toast of the Town. Rad is the Greatest movie of all time, i stake my life on it.

STEVE WILKOS DRINKING GAME



New Steve Wilkos drinking game: First person to drink 24 beers and hit their wife the hardest gets to appear on his show! Steve Wilkos Has The Best Job In The World I need a job where all day I get to yell at pedophiles and losers with shitty haircuts. All hail Wilkos!

Friday, November 20, 2009

Belly Top Burgers Anyone?



I feel we are being shafted by society now that there are no waitresses on roller skates. I'm thinking about bringing it back with my new restaurant franchise Belly Top Burgers. There will be belly tops, burgers, waitresses on roller skates, asphalt, and broken bones sticking through skin. Who's with me? Investors feel free to make an offer cause I'm pretty sure this one is going to the top.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

THE COUNTDOWN IS ON!

Steven Seagal Lawman on A&E will be making its big debut December 2nd, if you aren't juiced for this I suggest you come over to my local pool hall so I can put a pool ball in a sweat shirt and proceed to fuck start your head like its 1991 all over again.





http://www.aetv.com/steven-seagal-lawman/

R.I.P. American Gladiators

The unsuccessful attempt to bring back American Gladiators would have had me teary eyed (if I hadn't had my tear ducts removed at birth) but the simple fact of the matter is you don't call something American Gladiators when you have goofs on it like Wolf and Militia. The only way the Hulkster could have kept that prime time gig going is if he gave Muhammed Ali's daughter a legdrop. P.S. Girl's can't box. Here's something retro for you to remember the glory days: